LOTR frikkin ROCKS!!

The movie is three hours long but so much happens I didn't feel as if I was sitting there for that long. Gollum is a masterpiece of computer animation. He was marvelous in every detail and his movements so fluid it was like watching a real (albeit hideously fucking ugly), person.

Er...hobbit. Thing?

There were some wonderfully choreographed fight sequences and at times I was reminded of the battle scenes in Braveheart, only with a lot less gore. I love Liv Tyler so much as Arwen. She brings genuine depth and a sense of innocence to the character. Elijah Wood's performance was sensitive, sweet and touching, as always. I can't imagine anyone else as Frodo. I know I keep saying it, but I can't help myself; his face is so beautiful. Those amazing sapphire eyes...

When he looks wounded I just want to hold him.

Also, he didn't have as much screen time in the last film but in LOTRTT, I feel as if we got to know Legolas a little better. Orlando Bloom plays him beautifully - the scene in which he slides down a flight of stairs while rapidly shooting arrows from his bow impressed me mightily. He really grew on me in this film, as did Aragorn, who seemed a much more sympathetic character and more human than in the last film.

I am really starting to get into this stuff.

As if I wasn't before.

:o)

It was a blast.

Oh, and John liked it too.

And we agreed not only on the film being good as a whole, but on one fundamental thing that really stands out about it:

Those Orcs are some ugly motherf**kers. Their skin looks like it's melting off and they all need a good periodontist. I'd rather have one of them decapitate me than breathe in my face. They just look like they have, to quote Henry Rollins, paralyzing body funk.

The one thing John and I didn't agree on:

Hugo Weaving makes one dead-sexy elf king.

I know we don't agree on that because when I commented on it John made gagging noises. He does that whenever I say something about someone being cute or sexy. Every time the words Mel Gibson or Elijah Wood pass over my lips, before I even have the chance to say anything else, he rolls his eyes and says, "Oh crap - here we go."

He has confided in me that this is because he's majorly creeped out by any statement from me that sounds remotely like sexual attraction. He has also informed me that this is a teenage boy thing and nothing to concern myself over.

Well aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalrighty then!!

I try not to do that because it makes him twitch but if I'm in a silly mood every once in awhile I have to let it slip.

Like the other night when he asked me if I wanted to watch xXx.

I responded, "You mean the movie with that hotass, luscious Vin Diesel in it? Why yes I do."

:: staring dreamily off into space ::

"Viiiiiinnnn Dieeeeeeeeeseeeeellllll..."

John: "That's it, I'm going to watch it by myself. In my room. With the door locked. No Vin Diesel for you since you wanna gross me out."

He was smiling when he said it though.

Since he was so good about it I watched the whole thing without inducing him to make finger-down-the-throat gestures.

We're watching Full Metal Jacket tonight. That's a pretty safe one, I think. No exceptionally gorgeous men in the cast to drool over. Vincent D'Onofrio became luscious, but not until a year later when he made a small appearance (as Thor), in Adventures in Babysitting.

But I might fawn all over Pyle or Sergeant Hartman anyway just to get a reaction.

We'll see.

** maniacal laughter **