"No brains at all, some of them. Just grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake." ~ Eeyore

I use this quote from time to time, to describe stupidity so intense, so all-encompassing that other words fail me. The reason for this quote is usually my cousin Dawn.

She's it this time too, I'm afraid.

My grandmother is doing well and will be going home tomorrow. Her pain is under control, the new hip is healing nicely and she is no longer having allergic reactions to everything they give her. She was feeling pretty groovy last night until Dawn, aka rebel without a clue, called her (at the hospital, I might add), crying hysterically.

The last time cuz was in slam she had lots of problems, let's call them altercations, with other inmates. She also clashed frequently with the guards, whom she said were pushing people around and exerting influence they don't have. Throwing their weight around and acting like they're the be-all-and-end-all, was how she put it.

I asked her if she remembered where she was.

"They are in charge," I reminded her. "That's why they're wearing the uniforms with the badges on them."

"Smartass," she said simply and continued ranting.

This was several months ago.

She was let out for a few days in August, I think. It could have been July. But then she had a date to appear in court for another offense (violating her probation), and was sent back to slam.

It's interesting how some things remain so consistent.

She seems incapable of learning and I still don't know how to help her. I think the state of Virginia is trying to get her to wake up though. It seems she's going to be in slam a bit longer than it was originally planned. Not only is she fighting with guards and other inmates, she recently had an ugly altercation with one that caused her to be removed from the rehab program she was in. Her participation in the program was one of the conditions of her release, which was supposed to happen in a few weeks. In addition to this, when she was taken back to slam after being out for a few days, one of her urine tests came back dirty. Whether for drugs or alcohol I don't know, she didn't tell my grandmother, but this violation and her repeated refusal to behave herself have resulted in her release date being pushed back to August of 2003.

Ouch.

Her story on the urine test is that she was at a party

translation: I was hanging out in a bar

...and someone slipped something into my drink.

translation: I thought I could get by without getting caught. Woe is me, I'm a victim, yadda yadda yadda.

Stupid, sad, silly bitch.

Eeyore was right. A wise little donkey indeed, our Eeyore. He may be fictional but he still has more on the ball than Dawn.

I love her and I've done everything I can to help her, but sometimes I look into her eyes and know I'm not getting through to her, because beneath those beautiful green eyes lies a dense arid wasteland cultivated with intellectual dogshit.

This chick can't be taught. This makes about ten times (maybe more, I've lost count), that she has been locked up or had her stay in slam extended because of her behavior in the facililty or her refusal to stay clean once she's out. She has been through programs, been on work release, had counseling, been given financial assistance and twice nearly lost cutsody of her child. Dawn had to sign over temporary custody of Tes to my grandmother and aunt Rosa, otherwise the state was going to put the girl in foster care. Her daughter has to have counseling herself because the combination of worrying about her mother's self destructive behavior and her father's sorry, alcoholic bullshit have left her completely traumatized. The child is only nine years old and has had stress-induced yeast infections contantly (because they can't be treated in a child that young), since she was five or six, and sometimes she freaks out and curls up into a fetal position and can't be reached for awhile.

Dawn knows all of this.

She doesn't seem to care.

Most of the time her daughter doesn't trust her and is actually afraid of her.

She doesn't seem to care about that either.

Dawn yells a lot. She is one of those obnoxious, loud people who has a hair-trigger temper and Tes is the recipient of most of that when her mother is out of slam.

Tes loves babies and is a better mother to her dolls than Dawn is to her. We're all afraid that Tes is going to become a teen pregnancy statistic because of this. The only thing she seems to want is to be a mom. She makes good grades, she a smart child but it could definitely happen to her if she doesn't get guided in another direction and fast.

My grandmother thinks taking her to church all of the time will do it. Maybe it will, I don't know. I hope something or someone steps in to help because it would be such a shame for this girl to have her life cut short due to becoming someone's mother at 14 because her own mother is too fucking stupid and sorry to act like a parent.

I'm so angry with Dawn right now. She gets opportunity after opportunity, release after release, the system is trying to give her every chance to stay out and get her head straightened out.

And every time she pisses it away.

I love her but I just don't know what to do for her. She doesn't think she needs help, she thinks she can just stop what she's doing at any time.

Yeah, okay. Whatever.

If she doesn't fuck her daughter up completely it will be a miracle.

Seriously, an earth moved and angels wept, I saw the Goddess dancing in a fountain with Marilyn Monroe and Joan D'Arc wearing Gianni Versace gowns miracle.

I'm so completely disgusted with her.