Such a fuss is being made over the suckfest that is Ben and J-Lo's movie Gigli. At least, I keep hearing that it sucks. I haven't seen it and personally have no interest in seeing it. Mainly because the Jennifer Lopez publicity engine has kept her image forced in front of us so often and for so long, both my retinas and my psyche have grown utterly weary of her. Weary in a way that makes me change the channel and walk in the opposite direction of a movie theater.

Even so, I was willing to give the film (and Miss Lopez herself), a break until I read some of the reviews and saw the now infamous seduction line. Most reviewers were reluctant, nay - disgusted, to type it out as they penned their scathing reviews, but I go where my curiosity leads me so I spent about twenty minutes a couple of days ago reading as many reviews as I could find in order to see for myself what they were talking about. It's so revolting I'm a bit hesitant to type it out myself, but I love my internet friends dearly and owe them at least a fair warning in the unlikely event that any of them might still want to see the film. There's no need to explain what it means. People will get it.

Apparently J-Lo is in bed awaiting sexual attention from Ben Affleck and she says (God, this is gross), "It's turkey time!" When Mr. Affleck's eyebrows turn up in sudden confusion, Miss Lopez then clarifies by adding, "Gobble, gobble, gobble."

Uh, yeah. I'm serious.

Talk about things you wish you didn't know.

After seeing that I'm willing to believe it when I see reviews that compare Gigli to 'Glitter' and 'Hudson Hawk' (I have since forgiven Bruce Willis for that, btw). I also retract my original statement about waiting until it comes on cable, because it's still a painful, napalm covered screw job in terms of the time I'll waste by sitting through it. And that's a rare and hardcore negative thing to say about a movie I haven't even seen many previews for yet.

Wow, that just occurred to me. Between all of the movies, music videos and tv appearances, my exposure to the Gigli trailer has been practically nothing. I did see something funny on Conan O'Brien the other night though. They played a clip from the film in which J-Lo borrows Gigli's phone then sits down on his sofa to use it. The voice at the other end says, "Hello, career suicide hotline..."

That reminds me - Jen & Ben (or at least really bad impressions of them), were in a recent episode of South Park that is both brilliant and a little gross. All I'll say is that the whole thing centered around Cartman's hand.

Okay, that's all the discussion, exposure, whatever, that 'Jenny From the Block' (I laugh sarcastically), gets from me.

I will however leave this as a footnote.

Enjoy.