My mom walked into the other side of her duplex yesterday and saw something foreign clinging to the wall she had so painstakingly texturized herself.

It was a bat.

A teeny little three or four-inch bat that turned it's head and looked at her, but otherwise didn't move.

She backed out of the house then went back later with my dad. They couldn't find it.

I'm all excited because I love bats, I think they're cool and really, really cute, so I suggested to my mom that she get a Havaheart trap.

But how would I catch it, asks mom.

I think back to all of the things I've read and the nature shows I've watched on the Discovery Channel (Have I not mentioned that I'm a geek? Surely this can't be news), and remembered that the bats in this area like two types of food:

Bugs.

Fruit.

Since you can't get a bug to sit on the bait thingy...

I'm sure a nice fresh slice of orange will do the trick.

But please don't kill it, I add quickly.

I wouldn't, says mom. But if I wanted to I couldn't. It's illegal. They're endangered.

Inwardly I rejoice, though I already know my mother has a soft gooey nougat center and couldn't ever bring herself to harm anything, unless it's in self defense.

Then she'll knock the shit out of it.

She's afraid it might have rabies.

Bats do have a reputation for carrying it.

I explained that a rabid bat would have attacked as soon as it saw her, that a bat with rabies doesn't give a shit that she has the clear size advantage and weapons of bat-destruction.

She seemed to relax a bit.

There will be no remnants o' bat on her painstakingly texturized walls now.

I just want to see the little guy when she catches it.

I'm so excited about seeing it I'm actually giddy.

How freaking weird is that?

~

Later:

I called animal control to see if we could borrow a Havaheart trap, and the man I spoke to informed me that they don't fall for those. Apparently they are rather smart little creatures. He said to open all of the windows and turn on every light in the house. The bat won't like seeing all of that light and will fly out of the nearest window in search of a darker place.