10:24 p.m.

[ My Bro and Our Impending Trip ]

I've been thinking about the shocking conversation I had with my brother last night. He did apologize

(!!)

Let me say it again, or I'll never believe it

He apologized

(!!)

for the way he behaved and even said he wanted to have the opportunity to apologize to L when he can get him alone to talk. Needless to say, I was stunned. I got him alone as my folks were leaving and just asked him what changed his mind about things. He said that he understands things better now, he realizes L isn't just going to use me for sex and abandon me (and that he's a truly great dad, which impresses my brother mightily), and that mostly, none of the things he was angry about seem to matter any more. It meant a lot to him that we rushed out to see his daughter when she was born (she was a preemie and had a difficult start - surfactant pumped into her lungs, ect.), and he just doesn't want to have either a bad relationship with us or not have one at all. The other stuff just isn't important any more.

There was a lot more to it, but that's all I feel like getting into right now. We've decided to sort of start over and see how things go from here.

So I started trusting him a little more. It was that easy. I'm such a fucking marshmallow.

He's fallen in love with my babies. He's always been close to J but he seems to be actively trying to bond with T & Z. He played with T for a long time yesterday and the two of them had a great time. A little while later he picked Z up and she threw her chubby little arms around his neck and gave him a huge hug. He melted. Little did he know, that's exactly what she had in mind. She's done that with all of us and it works like a charm. His ass now belongs to Miss Z. He may as well resign himself to a life of servitude. The rest of us have.

So for now all is well. Our four day foray into the wilds of South Carolina begins on Saturday and I'm kind of looking forward to it, in spite of the fact that instead of a nice quiet hotel, this time we'll be staying at my mother-in-law's house. L on the sofa, the kids and I on an inflatable mattress on the living room floor.

Golly, I wonder if that's gonna suck?

The sleeping will be rough but my MIL loves the kids so I'll probably get a little break here and there. Add to that the fact that this will probably be the only time we make the trip this year (barring any unforseen circumstances, of course), and I think it might just be okay. It's not his family I have a problem with. I love them. It's the trip and L's insistence that we get and early start and make the whole thing in one day rather than stop at a hotel overnight. It's an eight hour trip. We'll be saving about three hundred dollars by staying with L's mom so that's a good thing, but it's a rough ride when the last hundred or so miles are spent enduring the cacophany produced by two babies squealing in unison to be freed from their car seats.

Maybe I'll be able to negotiate a better arrangement before we leave. I have four days.

Yes indeed, hope does spring eternal.

I wasn't going to, but I think now I'd like to join some diaryrings. Just because I overdid the whole popularity thing with my last journal doesn't mean I have to let it happen again. Besides, the rings don't just bring people to me, they allow me to see other journals as well. Checking out other journals is one of the best things about being here.