After much thought I have come to one conclusion regarding home schooling my two youngest children. It is not the conclusion I had hoped to come to, nor what either their father nor I wanted.

The simple truth is, I may not be able to handle it.

That means I may have to allow my children to start their education in public school.

:: shudder ::

Trent is just too rambunctious and I can barely keep up with him. That is why I doubt my ability to teach him until he's a bit older. Right now I can't get this child to stop doing anything unless he really wants to, how am I going to get him to sit still for two hours a day (and yes, that's really about all it takes), to get his classwork done?

As always I feel like a failure.

I feel as if I should know how to cope with everything and take it all in stride, and failing to do that means I can't properly take care of my children.

Larry says not to worry about it, that he isn't even quite three years old yet and that a lot can happen between now and the time he's ready to start school.

I hope it happens, whatever it is, this thing that's going to make him ready for home schooling.

Of course, all of this could just be ST (stinking thinking), brought on by exhaustion. By two or three pm I'm wiped out and it doesn't help that one of the kids gets up at the ass crack of dawn and the other gets up between one and three am and thinks it's playtime.

I made the kids a promise today that when the weather warms up a bit in the spring we're going to start going out more. We're even going to start going to the park and taking evening walks. It will be okay I think, since things will get slightly cooler as the day ends. Just slap on some Bug be gone and go.

Hey, just because I'm a nature girl doesn't mean I don't object to being the entree at the mosquito buffet. Anyway, I think it will be good for us all. Since I've had to limit their play area for safety reasons they're getting a little goofy too, it seems. By spring we'll all be practically baying at the moon.

I'm going to bed early tonight. If I'm lucky I'll have a good hour to sleep before the Zoedactyl wakes me up with her special middle of the night screech.

I must be scaring the shit out of people who still want to have kids. Maybe I should post a disclaimer:

Warning! Reading this journal could cause your reproductive instinct to self destruct.

Or...

Warning! Reading about my children could cause your reproductive organs to shut down in self defense.

Can't say you weren't warned.