Whew!!

I got most of the things done I wanted to accomplish this evening. I've been warmly welcomed back (thanks everybody - you guys are so good to me!), and now since my horoscope tells me I'm in a time of transition, I am seriously considering relocating my dreams here and closing down my other two journals. I'm not too sure about that yet, though.

Here's the update:

In the last few weeks since I stopped writing here my depression has returned with a vengeance. I'm sure the timing of my withdrawal from DiaryLand and the vicious onset of the blues are in no way related (LOL). However, I am happier now than I have been in awhile so...

Go figure.

Anyway, the kids were sick for the better part of two weeks and Zoe's hitting a growth spurt so she wakes up in the middle of the night to feed then decides to stay up and play, so most days I'm running on anywhere from 3-5 hours of sleep a night. Larry picks up the slack where he can and has been very good about all of this but I don't insist upon it because he has to drive ninety minutes both to and from Baltimore every day and I don't want him falling asleep behind the wheel.

I had to go back on the meds, Larry and I have so many obligations and very little time together so the distance between times we have sex is beginning to broaden. Sometimes it's two weeks between, sometimes it's two months.

I'm not going to go into last weekend's incident here (it's in my other journal, suffice it to say that after thinking about it for a week and being even more depressed than usual, I decided I was over reacting. I don't think it's all that surprising considering what we've been through with the kids the last few weeks and the stress that this situation has created.

Anyway, this time I'm probably pretty much back on the meds for good. I have a history of doing very well without them for a few weeks then bottoming out miserably. My Dr. said that if it happened again we should consider the problem a chemical imbalance instead of a situational one.

Translation: All of the years I spent with FF, being depressed and not doing anything about it has laid a permanent whammy on my brain chemicals and I can't regulate my moods without help. According to my Dr. (and therapist, whom I haven't seen in a very long time but probably should), this is a very common occurrence.

Other interesting things...

Let's see...

I was accosted on the street by a rude christian woman who made the phrase, "I'll pray for you," amazingly similar to Please don't get too close, you Godless whore, my MIL may have breast cancer again, we aren't sure yet, my SIL's mom has uterine cancer and we are all scared completely shitless by the serial sniper who has chosen our lovely state for his territory.

In other news...

John is finally doing well in school, I'm finally starting to lose some weight (if not the issues associated with it), and it seems that my parents are finally gettign really close to putting their damnable monster of a house back on the market. Also, I'm moderating wiccan chat boards at the Blair Witch Project forums and have recently gotten back the motivation to become active again in my communities.

Whew again!!

So I guess that gets me pretty much caught up. I'll decide either tonight or tomorrow what to do about the other journals. It would be so much simpler just to relocate the dreams here and close down the others. That leaves me with one or two journals to keep if I continue using the Xanga journal. I might delete that one too. I'm hesitant to do that though. I've made some nice friends there too.

I don't have to work all of this out tonight.

It feels so wonderful to be back.