This delightful song is from the Bob River's album "Twisted Christmas Box". Since I loathe xmas, I tend to love xmas song parodies and this is one of the best. It never fails to make me laugh. It's a little different from the original in that it's sung by a cast of characters, so I'll include them here and you'll get the idea.

All Lyrics are sung by the chorus except for the following:

(1) Lyrics are spoken by an angry man

(2) lyrics are spoken by an old man who sounds like Archie Bunker

(3) Lyrics are spoken by a man with a high voice

(4) lyrics are spoken by a middle-aged woman

(5) lyrics are spoken by a middle-aged man

(6) lyrics are screamed by a Whining child

(7) Lyrics are spoken by a man

(8) Lyrics are spoken by a young woman

(9) Purple Lyrics are spoken by another man with a high voice

(10) Lyrics are spoken by a group of men}

The 12 Pains of Xmas

The First thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Is finding a Christmas tree.

The Second thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Rigging up the lights. (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Third thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Hangovers. (2)

Rigging up the lights. (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Fourth thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Sending Christmas Cards. (3)

Hangovers. (2)

Rigging up the lights. (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Fifth thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Five Months Of Bills!

Sending Christmas Cards. (3)

Hangovers. (2)

Rigging up the lights. (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Sixth thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Facing My In-laws. (4)

Five Months Of Bills!

I Hate Those Christmas Cards! (3)

Hangovers! (2)

Rigging up these lights! (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Seventh thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

The Salvation Army (5)

Facing My In-laws. (4)

Five Months Of Bills!

Sending Christmas Cards! (3)

Ooh Geez! (2)

I�m Tryin to rig up these lights! (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Eighth thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

I Wanna Transformer for Christmas! (5)

Charities . . . ! And Whadda Ya mean Your In-laws!! (4)

Five Months Of Bills!

Ooh Making out these Cards! (3)

Edith get me a beer Huh!! (2)

What We Have No EXTENTION CORDS!! (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Ninth thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Finding parking Spaces!(7)

Daddy I Want Some Candy!!! (6)

Donations!! (5)

Facing My In-laws!! (4)

Five Months Of Bills!

Writing out those Chrismas Cards!!(3)

Hangovers! (2)

Now Why The Hell Are They BLINKING ? ! ? ! (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Tenth thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Batteries not included.(8)

No parking Spaces! (7)

BUY ME SOMETHING!!! (6)

Get a Job Ya Bum!! (5)

Ooh Facing My In-laws!!(4)

Five Months Of Bills!

Yo Ho! Sending Chrismas Cards!! (3)

Oh Geez ! Lookit this!!! (2)

One Light Goes Out And The Others go Out ! ? ! ? ! (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Eleventh thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Stale TV specials! (9)

Batteries not included! (8)

No parking Spaces!(7)

I Gota Go to the Bathroom!!!(6)

Charities!! (5)

She�s a WITCH I hate Her!! (4)

Five Months Of Bills!

Ooh I don�t even know half these people!! (3)

Who�s Got the Terlet paper!!! (2)

Get a Flashlight I Blew a Fuse ! ? ! ? ! (1)

and finding a Christmas tree.

The Twelfth thing at Christmas

That�s such a pain to me:

Singing Christmas Carols! (10)

Stale TV specials! (9)

Batteries not included! (8)

No Parking !! (7)

{Waaaahhhh!!! Waaaahhhh!!!} (6)

Charities!! (5)

Gotta Make em Dinner!! (4)

Five Months Of Bills!

I�m Not Sending Them This Year, That�s It!! (3)

Shut Up YOU!!! (2)

Fine! You�re So Smart! You Rig Up The LIGHTS!!! (1)

and finding a Christmas tree!