This child has one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen. Larry bought the kids a nickelodeon magazine and he's on the cover - I was really blown away by how amazingly gorgeous this little guy is. When he gets older, he's gonna be a serious heartbreaker.

That said, I have to admit the picture got me thinking. I've seen Lil Romeo on tv before. His videos get regular play on Nickelodeon and he has a new show that's about the premiere on the same network, so we're likely to be seeing even more of him.

It did occur to me, however...

How the hell old is this kid? If he's hit puberty yet, color me extremely surprised. The record companies are following the pattern they began with pre-pubescent girl groups like Play (with dollies still because we're only nine), and Jump Five (and a half, because we're almost that old), and churning out hip-hop acts fresh out of the preschools.

Lil Bow-Wow. Lil Romeo.

Lil Embryo.

Where does it end? Gee, I dunno. What's next? Let's speculate.

::Announcer::

"Hi and welcome to Late Night With Conan O'Brien. Tonight we welcome the world's newest rap star to the show - LIL UMBILIO!! The hip-hop artist has taken the world by storm and made his first gold record, all three months before his birth!! We'll be talking to Umbilio live via satellite from the office of his mother's ob/gyn, Dr. Goldfinger. Then Lil Umbilio will perform his new song, a track that samples his heartbeat and the sounds of fetal movement with a soul-stirring, finger-snappin' beat straight offa da street, entitled Squish, slurp, squish!!"

Conan: "Welcome to the show, Mrs. (whispers to sidekick), what's her last name...? (then back to camera #1)...Umbilio's mom!"

:: camera angle widens and audience gets first glimpse of new hip-hop prodigy live via 3-d sonogram ::

Conan: "I gotta tell ya, we're all really impressed with what Umbilio has accomplished so far. How ya doin', Umbilio?"

:: fetus reaches down and grabs almost flat not fully formed crotch, with mildly bumpy not fully formed hand ::

Umbilio's mom: "He says 'word,' Conan."

Conan: Um...okay...

Is it obvious I had a little too much free time on my hands today?