I can't believe we finally got out. Alone!

It was so wonderful to have that time with him. A day all to ourselves was just what we needed. While we were out we saw a film called Bowling For Columbine. It's a documentary style film in which the narrator / director (Michael Moore), tries to answer the question, "Why is it that although practically every large nation has the same influences as the US, we have the highest rate of gun related deaths per year?"

It's true. All over the world people are watching the same films and TV shows, listening to the same music, playing the same video games, yet the rate of gun related deaths is much lower in England and almost nil in Canada.

I won't give away the conclusion, but I will say that while there were disturbing images and truths in the film I enjoyed it immensely. Marilyn Manson came off very well in his (short), interview but Charleton Heston didn't. Not in the least. He refused to answer questions in a direct manner and shocked me by making not one, but two racist statements. He also spoke at NRA rallies twice in places that had just a few days prior had gun related tragedies. The first time was in Littleton. The second time was in Flint, Michigan just two or three days after a six year old girl was accidentally killed by a classmate, also six. He refused to even look at the little girl's picture when approached about why he chose to have a pro-gun rally less than a week after yet another school shooting.

Matt Stone, co-creator of South Park, was also interviewed and came across very well. People assume he and Trey Parker are dipshits because they spend so much time acting like...well, dipshits - but they're actually both very bright. Matt is from Littleton and attended Columbine High, which he apparently didn't enjoy, for much the same reasons I loathed high school.

A few weeks ago, Sister Stiggy posted an entry about the way people tend to rationalize their behavior and that of their children by taking the blame off of themselves and placing it on societal influences. I am in total agreement with her that it is not the job of the companies that make video games, produce movies and TV programs or the artists who create music (and companies that distribute it), to babysit our children for us. Get that? It's not their job. It's our job as parents to talk to them, instill a good set of values and ask them questions. Not just questions about school, but where they're going, who they're going to be with and what they'll be doing. Don't invade their privacy overly, but dammit look into their rooms every once in awhile!! See what they're reading, what they're listening to, what they're watching. Watch it with them. And for fuck's sake, stop blaming the government, the neighborhood you live in and society as a whole for the actions of people who kill, rape and hurt others.

Consider the soapbox officially taken down for the night.

Now back to the movie.

I can't go into too much more detail without spoiling it for people who haven't seen it, but I will say that there are some parts of the film that are extremely hard to watch. Some of it is footage from the security cameras inside Columbine High school on the day of the shootings. I had seen a lot of it before, like the scenes in which students were running in terror from rooms as shots were fired. Today I saw some things I hadn't seen before and now wish I hadn't. A boy was running to get away from the shooters and was shot. We saw him get sort of knocked over by the force of the bullet and fall at the same time. The bottom of my stomach dropped out.

Anyway, the movie really reaffirmed my feelings about guns and introduced a fascinating theory regarding fear and the gun issues in this country that will keep replaying resonantly in my head for a long time.

It also made me feel as if I did the wrong thing by staying out of the Million Mom March.

The MMM was supposed to take place three or four weeks before Trent was due, but I had the placental abruption and he was born six weeks early. When the MMM took place I had a three week old child who had only gained enough weight to be sent home a few days before. I was really torn over it because we were told to keep him away from other people to keep him healthy because as a preemie he had a compromised immune system. After everything we had been through I was actually afraid to leave him, even for a few hours to attend the march. I opted out and now I really regret it, because the whole purpose of the march was to draw attention to the issue of children getting either hurt or killed with the guns their parents keep at home and introduce new legislation to aid in that effort. I missed out on my chance to protect the child I thought I was protecting by being at home with him.

Irony.

I have more to say but I'm really exhausted so I'm going to bed.

Just a few hours (that will feel longer), until we go to see LOTR.

I'm all tingly with the thought.

:o)

G'night.