From my other journal, dated August 3, 2002

I needed a lot of things (and some food), and there's only one place to go when you need everything and don't want to be out bopping from place to place on a day when the heat index is making it feel like a cozy 105 degrees:
Uber Wally World.
That's Super Wal-Mart. BJ referred to Wal-Mart as Uber Wally World in his journal once and made me laugh my ass off. Well, okay, its still there but it jiggled a whole lot.
Too much information?
I'll move on.
Anyway, I've been calling it that ever since.
And where did I have to go to reach this mecca of modern convenience?
West By-God Virginia. Where nothin' says loving' like marrying yer cousin.
It wasn't too bad. I got a late start and had to park out in BFE but other than that it went well. I had a positive shopping experience. I did get a little freaked out when I was in line at the pharmacy to ask the agonizingly slow counter staff a question and the guy in front of me kept turning to stare me down. He was about the size of my husband, who is 6'1, and he had a homemade tattoo on his right bicep of two hearts, one overlapping the other. I was in line for about fifteen minutes (I know, it DOES suck - but what can ya do?), and every few seconds I'd feel as if I was being watched. That creepy feeling of total unwelcome scrutiny. Every time I glanced in his direction I'd catch him staring at me and he'd quickly turn away. Then a few seconds later it happened again. The entire time I was in the line.
Yikes.
When I told Larry about it he said the guy probably figured I was hot.
I think not. I mean, who would? I'm not being weird or having low self esteem by saying this, this is an honesty born of the fact that I see my own reflection every day. I'm not even pretty any more.
I wasn't wearing any makeup and I sure wasn't putting out any "fuck me big boy" signals.
Besides, he was probably a good eight or ten years younger than me, and even if I were single...no, thanks ever so. I prefer older men. Not Ralph Bellamy older, more like Mel Gibson (of course), or Harrison Ford older. This guy was way younger than me and waaaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger. I figure he was trying to figure out how easily I could be ambushed in the parking lot.
I have mentioned my trust issues regarding men, have I not?
Anyway, I was tempted to buy a can of pepper spray.

Fuck with me willya?

SUCK JALAPENO MIST ASSHOLE!!!!

I am feeling a tad silly right now.
I didn't see him again, but I am starting to think real hard about investing in another can of mace. I know it works. John got into my mace when he was four years old. He sprayed a little on his hands and then touched his face, not knowing any better. The fire dept was summoned but by the time they got there I had him bathed and his eyes clear. The nutty thing about mace is that even the fumes are irritating, so by smelling it he hurt himself even more. The A/C in the apartment was screwed up too and I was sweating, so every place he touched me I was burned also, on my neck, arms and right breast as it soaked through my tee shirt. A distinctly unpleasant experience.
How the hell did I get started on that subject anyway?
Oh yeah.
Fucking Wal-Mart.
While I was there I found something I thought I'd never see again except occasionally at Hot Topic. Care Bears. Little, beautiful, wondrous, magickal Care Bears.
Tears came to my eyes.
No kidding.
Those things were a very bright point of light in a very turbulent adolescence. I was out buying toys for the kids today, not for myself, so I only bought one for Zoe. I looked and looked through every bear they had to find Good Luck Bear, who was always my favorite, but there was no Good Luck to be had (the song remains the same, no?), so I got her one with little pink hearts on it's tummy that I believe is called Love A Lot Bear. It's pink and oh so precious. She loved it. So much so that she squeaked when she saw it and immediately tried to eat it.
This must be my time to relive my childhood. The good things about it, anyway. Max Headroom is on the Tech Channel, Key-103 in Frederick has an hour dedicated to the music of the 80s every night and I saw a huge Smurfs display in Spencer's a few weeks ago. Now we have Care Bears again. Something for Zoe to cuddle while we watch my Care Bears movies. I have both, and what fine films they are. I still get as misty over them now as I did when I was a kid.
So now I'm on a mission; to find a Good Luck Bear icon for my profile.
Some days I think I never actually matured (in my head), past the age of 12. According to Larry, sometimes I'm much younger.
He means that in a nice way.
I'm going to bed before 1am. Tomorrow is going to be a long day and I'm taking John to see The Road to Perdition. It looks like it's going to be a pretty good movie. I have to admit to a little anxiety over it. I've been a bit wary of Tom Hanks' movies since Saving Private Ryan. Not that it was a bad movie, it's just that there was so much violence, which usually doesn't bother me but it was so real. Those battle scenes were the most brutal I've ever seen. Even most horror movies don't reach that level of death and destruction. It wasn't just one or two scenes like that either, oh no. Spielberg had to toss in a bunch of them. Just when I was starting to feel a little better...
BOOM!!!!
More scenes of killing people and breaking shit. Against my better judgement I watched the whole thing and by the end I was shaking and in tears. My hands were trembly for quite awhile aftewards.
Of course, it probably didn't help that I was pregnant with Trent. I was feeling a bit sensitive. I have however, no desire to watch it again and find out if that was the cause of my reaction. I have the feeling it wouldn't be any different.
The Green Mile was good though, I liked that a lot. It was true to the book and the cast was great. That's a Tom Hanks movie I can definitely reccommend, though it is a two box of Kleenex film.
I need some sleep.
G'night.