From my other journal, dated July 10, 2002

I've been giving this dream I had about the friend way too damn much thought. To break it down into non-stressful, non-guilt- inducing terms, it's just a fucking dream. It doesn't mean I'm lusting after someone other than my husband, that I'm unhappy with my marriage or that I subconsciously want to screw around. It probably means that hubby and I aren't spending enough time together.

I've had dreams about Mel Gibson and Henry Rollins too but that doesn't mean I'm going to have sex with them (um...duh!).

I think the things that were really bothering me, now that I can think about it without catastrophizing, is that

1) I know the guy, and

2) It was more than one dream.

It was actually a series of three, and the fact that this person is familiar to me was disturbing. Don't ask me why, it just is.

Anyway, I haven't been completely honest here about this man, either. The truth is that he actually is attractive and if I wasn't with Larry and so madly in love with him I'd be very interested in the friend. That's what I was struggling with, but didn't want to believe it until now. The friend (I don't want to name him for the obvious reasons), has so much in common with my husband. They have the same twisted sense of humor. That was the first thing I noticed about my husband when we met, and it attracted me to him like, bigtime. I'm an easy girl to please. Make me laugh and you're in.

Well, maybe the term "you're in" is a tad misleading. Or a really bad pun.

Anyway...

He has a lot of the same personality traits and amazing intelligence that made me love my husband (and has so many nice qualities of his own, too), so YES...he is very, very appealing to me.

However -

That is where it ends. Because I love my husband so much I could never stand to be without him.

Understanding that kind of makes the dream seem lots less important. It was what it was, a movie created and replayed by an idle, sleeping mind. Something that will never happen and means next to nothing because it was all inside my head.

And unless it turns out to be something important, I shall mention it here no more forever.

On to less psychoanalytical things.

Jana sent me this email today that had me laughing hysterically. What a concept!

What If Food Was Dirty And Sex Was Clean? - Part I

Everyone knows that Sex is "dirty" and food is "clean", but what if society had switched the whole concept around? What if, through a simple twist of fate, sex was clean but food was dirty? Our entire culture would change:

*Food would become a foul four-letter word.

*When people got angry at you, they'd yell out " Oh yeah? Well, food you. Suck cheese you hotdog."

*Punks in passing cars would flip you the fork.

*Flashers would have pizzas strapped to their chests .

"Ohmigosh, Myrna did you see that? It's a pepperoni with olives!"

Yikes!!

In the unlikely event that this ever comes to pass, it might not be a bad thing. Think about it. If sex is looked upon the way food is now, naked men will be everywhere! The world will be a never-ending parade of swinging male nudity. Finally, women will be able to indulge their curiosity without shame or awkwardness. Who among us (and don't lie, sweetie, I saw you looking), hasn't wondered if the overly abundant looking crotch of the barely legal young guy who helped us get a box down from the really high shelf at the Toys R Us was real or just a tempting illusion? A girl can get arrested for just reaching out and squeezing his package to be sure. It's not even an option. So how are we to tell who's a stud and who's a dud if we can't make contact?

Hopefully, one day public male nudity will be a nationally accepted state of being. Of course, to young females raised in that environment it won't be exceptional at all. It will simply be, just as a man in jeans is now.

But to the rest of us it will be cause to rejoice.

I'm suddenly reminded of a scene from the film Police Academy. I'm relaying it from memory but the gist is the same.

Cop: "This didn't happen in my day. Back when I was in the academy everyone had JOHNSONS, Lassard."

Lassard: "Johnsons?"

Cop points to his crotch.

Lassard nods, suddenly understanding.

Cop: (walking over to look wistfully out of the office window), "Back then there were JOHNSONS as far as the eye could see."

Lassard: (hard pressed for a comment), "And what a lovely sight it was."

Touche', Commandant Lassard. Touche'.

That's it. Now I know I need some sleep.

And that's yet another thing that's changed in the last three days. I sleep better now that I'm not taking the Elavil any more. In fact, I think I'll go to bed a bit earlier tonight so I can get caught up on all of the sleep I've missed since October. It should only take about three months or so. If I get started now I might be awake in time for Samhain.