From my other journal, dated September 19, 2002

I see now, reading my entries, that my long, rambling thought processes have been well represented. I write that way I think. In the future I will work on consolidating perhaps.

But this is not that day.

:-)

Last night I was encouraged to see Christopher Reeve starting to make some progress and move his hands and feet a little. Obviously something is connecting and his brain is getting the signals that had been cut off by the accident if he can do that. It was, however, very heartbreaking to see him struggle, to see how he looks, and mostly to see that the only real progress that's been made in science to help people with severe spinal injuries is so controversial the technology may never be made available.

I was very troubled when I first heard of stem cell research because I didn't really understand what it was. I love babies and I can't bear the thought of them being bred in dishes only to be murdered later for their stem cells.

But that isn't how it works.

My husband is a microbiologist. He understands the procedure, what's involved and how it helps. I asked him to explain the whole thing to me and he did. We've spoken about it at length over the last several months, so I feel completely justified in saying that it isn't as hideous as people think. Not even close. Being a quad/paraplegic stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of a life that started out healthy, with a body that was active, sturdy and beautiful is much more horrible than that. Only a certain number of cell divisions are allowed, just enough to produce healthy stem cells. No babies are made, it's a dish of tissue. No organs form, no brain, no blood or circulatory system, no life as we know it. Stem cells have been proven instrumental in helping diabetics (but I have no benefit of that due to limited use and law concerns), quad/paraplegics, people with Parkinson's (Michael J. Fox), and people who suffer from MS (Montel Williams).

With my religious beliefs and my empathy for the pain and suffering of children, if I for one minute thought that babies were being bred for the sole purpose of killing them to harvest the cells I would be the first one out there testifying in front of whomever would listen to stop it. The fact is, thousands of embryos are created for research every year and then later discarded (as in, thrown out), for one reason or another. Couldn't stem cells be harvested from those embryos?

It's agonizing to see people suffer from disorders, injuries and illnesses that can be treated with stem cell research. It also sucks royally to be among them. Every day is a struggle with food and weight. I have to have constant blood tests at home and at the doctor's office. It's a difficult way to live.

If people can be helped and no babies have to die, what do we have to do to make stem cell research legal? Why is it that the only voices that are being heard in this are religious groups and people who aren't even remotely connected to the scientific community and have no idea what the research entails or what the benefits are?

This is so frustrating.

While we wait for the government to get their thumbs out of their asses and allow full research (I don't blame George W. for this - there's a lot of pressure on him and he compromised as best he could on this issue, but it's still so restricted), MS is still crippling people, and people like Christopher Reeve get only enough medical help to get them through the day. In the long run they're still paralyzed and stuck in their chairs.

How sad.

More than sad.

Tragic.