I'm feeling better today. Good thing too, since today is the day we're all going out for John's birthday and I need to at least have some semblance of sanity. I started to feel better last night and fortunately the worst of this particular episode seems to be over. I'm still going to see my doctor this week if I can. The meds used to work well but need to be switched now. Or the dosage readjusted. I don't know and really I don't care as long as I can stop doing the pendulum thing.

Larry went to hang out with a friend yesterday that he's known for over twenty years. His friend said that he's never seen Larry so happy.

It made me feel ecstatic when Larry told me that. I think it was then that my mood started to shift. I do care about his happiness and I'm glad to have given him what he needs, including the family he so desperately wanted. Today I feel much less useless than I have in awhile and certainly more cheerful than I have in at least a week.

I miss my deadjournal. I'd still have it if it didn't take so damned long to download. I got really impatient with it. Maybe whatever bugs in the sytem were causing the slow loading have been worked out. I might just give it another try and maybe link to it from here. I missed the friends I have here so maybe I can still keep both. I like the xanga journal too so I'm not quite sure what I want to do with that. It's far too expensive to get premium service from xanga so I'm not sure where I'll host when Gothique expires since DL has bugs too and I've had such trouble getting into my journal of late. DLs problems connecting to the dtatbase when I need to write do tend to piss me off and I lost an entry recently. That happened with xanga too. Twice. It never happened with deadjournal though so I guess if I can just get past that whole slow loading problem I'll be okay. I might just give it a try later and see how it feels. I'll still be here, just not as often since I'd rather keep the deadjournal open if it loads well.

I'll figure it all out later. Gotta go get some things done. If Sir Lawrence (I love calling him that), gets back in time I'm going to get my bangs cut (finally), and I have things to do first.

If there are any spelling errors I'll be back later to fix them. A big thank you to everyone who was kind enough to email me and sign my guestbook supporting me through the last few days. I love you guys.