Mel is completely fubar. I think it may be my fault too, because I'm the dork who downloaded more chat programs than he can handle. He did okay with AIM and Excite chat, but Yahell Messenger did him in. He seizes up at least seven times a day and I have to hard boot him to get the frozen windows to go away. I've lost several things, my patience included.

Larry figured out what it was. Mel is just an older model and needs to be babied a bit. I went through today in an effort to get him to stop locking up on me and deleted a lot of image files that I don't use or like any more. I then started yet another IRM file and consolidated what was left.

Jeez mon!

It took halfway to forever but seemd to be working, then BAM!

This is me hitting my head on the keyboard:

djhflskdfhlskdjf

zjshdflsdfjhszdjf

Skdflaksjdfalsjk

I also finally gave in and asked Larry if he had deleted the previous two IRM files. It just seemed weird that they disappeared like that when I had twice taken the time to load all of those pretty pictures into them. He said he didn't remove them. I think it may have bothered him a bit because the only things in the IRM ("it's raining men"), file are lots of pictures of men that I think are attractive. Mel Gibson (of course), Donnie Yen, Oded Fehr, Jean Reno (unconventional perhaps, but pleasant). They're all clothed except for the occasional exposed chest and all tasteful pictures, or at least I think so. They're not nearly as graphic as his ten or so files of girls taken from porn sites. He has so many of those, at last count he told me there are about 25-30,000 images collectively in his files. Some of them are really nasty too. I hate them. I feel as if I'm being compared to the girls in those pictures and it makes me feel very insecure and unattractive. I'm ten years older than most of them and have had three kids, there's no way I can get my body to look like that again but I feel as if I have to at some point or he'll leave me for someone who is closer to his fantasy. It's an unattainable ideal and it is successfully managing to kill the microscopic bit of self esteem I somehow salvaged from my first marriage.

Even so, I never deleted a single one. I was definitely tempted but never did.

Mel could have eaten my file. He has been going totally and utterly apeshit lately. Larry has no reason to lie to me about it so the only logical conclusion I can come to is that my poor aging PC is rejecting the file for reasons I don't quite understand.

He rejected Windows 98 today too, and now that has to be reinstalled.

Methinks perhaps Mel is not long for this world.

I'll miss him.